Moose Moose

Things I have seen for the first time in Jackson Hole, Wyoming (a partial list):

1. Bear-proof trash cans

2. Bear-proof dumpsters

3. Bear repellent spray

4. Bears

5. Mooses (Meese? Moosei?)

Which begins to beg the question: Why no Moose spray? I mean, I don't think they'll be leafing through our garbage any time soon, being less omnivorous and more partial to...well, really just grass. So the Moose-proof dumpsters are not a necessity (plus, now that I think about it, if a fucking bear can't get into the things, then what's a Moose going to do? Nothing, that's what. Just like they always do. Nothing. Lazy bastards.). But I wouldn't want to run into one of them in a dark alley. Which wouldn't happen, because there are no alleys here. Just highway and fields and forest. Oh, and mountains. Did I mention the mountains? Anyway, I'm getting off track, but my point is that I think Moose spray would not be such a bad idea. Everyone's always talking about how they're just as dangerous as bears, especially if it's a mother with a calf, so at the very least, you would be able to sell a bunch of the stuff to stupid tourists.

It turns out I did come quite close to a mama moose and her calf, only it wasn't like I had to go looking for them, it was more like they just came walking into my backyard while I was sitting on the porch. Unfortunately, there were lots of other people on the porch also, and the noise scared them away quickly. It was still pretty amazing.

The only time I've seen a bear in the wild was on a hike that I did in the Tetons a couple of weeks ago. We were on our way back down (hikes here are straight uphill for what seems like forever, and then straight back downhill for about a quarter of the time it took to get uphill), when a guy on the trail ahead of us with a snowboard strapped to his back turned around and said something to the effect of "Dude, there's a bear on the trail." Sure enough, just around the bend, we saw a mother Black Bear and her cub walking through the woods just off the trail. Again, they weren't so much interested in us as eager to get away from us, and so we didn't see them for long. In fact, the cub began climbing a tree soon after they spotted us. And he was climbing fast! So for everyone who thought you should climb a tree to get away from bears, be warned: Bears can climb trees.

So those were my two most unexpected, and therefore most gratifying, wildlife experiences so far this summer. Still to go on the list of animals to see before I leave are Elk and Bison. The Bison, apparently, are not hard, as most people are shocked when I say I have been here a month and not seen one. The Elk, it seems, stay up in the mountains during the warm months, so I may have less luck with them.