Results!

It's been nearly a week, and I think the results of my vote are definitive enough now to close the polls. So I received seven votes total (two were sent in via email), five for Blue Man Group, and two for American Idol.

Those who voted Blue generally had very good justifications for their votes. Allison rightly says that "any job where you get to cover yourself in paint on a daily basis is an opportunity you can't pass up." Matt pointed out that Blue Man Group is "karaoke, for your body." And Anne seemed to take a page from the "Anyone but Bush" book on voting technique, placing her vote with Blue Man Group simply because "American Idol is stupid." And, really, she does have a point.

So what do we hear from the minority leaders? Mostly, they saw fit to point out the possible humor factor involved in an appearance on the show. Josh thought that "[I,] on [my] own, in any setting, including singing in front of a national televised audience, would be way the hell funnier than Blue Man Group." And Hannah agreed, employing the excessive use of alternating question marks and exclamation points to express how excited she is at the prospect of seeing me sing in falsetto and dance on television.

However, the people have spoken. To those of you who voted for Idol, though, do not give up hope. There may still be time, after my Blue Man career has run its course, for me to take part in American Idol XXXVII.

For now, my next goal in life: Become a marginally famous celebrity, so that I can appear on "Dancing with the Stars."

-----

In other news, I just received two emails, both of which contained quotes that I found so hilarious that I had to share them with you all. The first was from Josh in Japan, who writes:

"I'm writing songs now dude, it's awesome! I'm like Paul Simon. Or that other guy. Bach."

And the second was from my mother, who likes to insert little pearls of dubious wisdom into her emails. She was telling my sister and me that we should write thank you notes to our family. This was her reasoning:

"This is an important part of adult life. Formally saying thank you is what separates us from the animals."

Cue hilarious mental image of a gorilla sitting down to write a thank you note, then becoming frustrated when he realizes he doesn't know how to read or write.