Today, being Thursday, afforded me with another chance to drive 45 minutes outside of the city and teach trombone lessons to high schoolers all afternoon. Now that I've settled into the routine of it, gotten more comfortable, and worked up some kind of rapport with my students, the hours do not drag by quite as slowly as they used to.
One of today's highlights was when my second student, at the beginning of his lesson, noticed that his slide was not moving very well. In fact, I had noticed in practically every lesson up to today that the noise made by his slide moving was almost louder than the noise coming out of his bell, but I hadn't said anything. He asked me if he could use my spray bottle, which was full of water. I gave it to him, and he gave each side of the inner slide one tiny spritz before handing it back to me.
"That's all the water you need?" I asked, about to ask him to try some more.
"Oh, yeah, that's much better," he replied, while working his slide back and forth, producing the same sandpaper sound. I asked him what kind of cream he used on his slide.
"Pond's Cold Cream," he replied. "It works real well unless it gets too dry. That's why it's good when we're outside."
I assumed he meant during marching band practice, which was often outside. But that didn't really explain his statement. Why was his slide better outside? The humidity? Was he relying on the humidity to lubricate his slide? Because the Pond's sure as hell wasn't doing very much on its own. I felt like asking him what kind of sick bastard told him he could put Pond's Cold Cream on his slide.
By the way, as a side note, I just Googled Pond's Cold Cream, and, according to the Unilever website, here are some possible reasons why you might want to put the stuff on your trombone slide:
-To remove hidden dirt and make-up from your trombone without clogging your trombone's pores.
-To deep clean without drying your trombone, so it looks and feels touchably soft and radiantly clean.
-If your trombone has had an allergic reaction to another lubricant, don't worry. Pond's Cold Cream is Hypo-Allergenic (The package does not state this, but it is!!).
-The special blend of cleansing ingredients and natural emollients softens as it deep cleans so your trombone slide feels smooth - never tight or dry.
Smooth...not tight or dry...that actually sounds pretty good. Maybe I'll try some myself. Besides, I've been looking for a way to get lipstick off of my trombone slide (that's another story). But I can't say that this is the worst case I have seen. When I was in high school, I knew someone who would spray their slide with Lemon Pledge. Apparently, he had to wipe it off whenever he was done playing, because if you left it on, it would dry and stick to the slide and then you couldn't move it the next day. Hmm. Not such a great lubricant, if you ask me. But, to each his own, and trombone players are an eccentric lot, to say the least.
Next time, stories about a different student who can't tell a G-sharp from a dump truck full of flaming tires (hint: one of them is in third position. Third position, God damn it. PLAY IT IN THIRD OR I WILL WRAP THAT TROMBONE AROUND YOUR SKULL).
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3 comments:
You know, when I was in high school, I had a trombone. Big whoop right?
But sewiously, this trombone was cooler than everyone else's trombone. Why?
Silly.
This trombone was magical. You could light it on fire. You could throw it down the stairs, hit it with your car, and even swallow it whole if you wanted to.
Best of all, you could lubricate the slide with Palmolive. Preferably the green stuff (unscented, not the creepy apple stuff. who wants their dishes or their trombone slide to smell like apples????). You could carry it around in a sealable film case (you know, the cylindrical ones.)
This was the same magical trombone that had a 5 inch HOLE in the bell because I didnt take the mouthpiece out when I closed the case.
It was magical though.......
isnt ponds practically the same stuff as whats in trombotine though... i still wouldnt use ponds either, thats just what ive been told.
Yeah, I've actually heard of a lot of people who use it, I was just having some fun. Still, seems kind of risky to me, putting that stuff on there.
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