On International Friends and Old Jokes that Die Hard

DrivingdrivingdrivingdrivingdrivingdrivingdrivingInternet! Hey, I found an internet connection at my hotel! That means I can update my blog!!!

So yeah, I'm here at the Comfort Inn outside of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and, thanks to Josh, I no longer have any fear of getting an elephant caught in my pajamas. At least for tonight.... But that's irrelephant. The important thing is, I've been driving for two days, traveled over 1200 miles, and I'm almost there. Just one more day, and Houston will finally feel my wrath.

Thanks to all who have called while I've been on the road, it's been good to talk to people, especially those in other countries who I haven't talked to in a long while. It's not often that I get phone calls from Japan and Guatemala in the same day!

The drive so far has been good. There have been a few landmarks, such as the Pink Cadillac Diner in Lexington, Virginia, and of course driving by Fort Chiswell is always a pleasure (Fo' Chizzwell, ma nizzwell!). But I have also learned a lot. For example, I learned that with a few small adjustments (removing headrest, reclining chair, putting down sun visor, pointing slide at opposite corner of windshield, slouching slightly) it is entirely possible to practice trombone in the front seat of my car. That is, as long as you don't plan to use seventh position. Which I don't!!!! I found this out while I was in the tiny northwest corner of Georgia that separates Tennessee from Alabama on I-59 south, and it started to pour rain hard enough that I pulled into a truck stop to wait it out. With time on my hands, I decided to see if I could get some practicing in, and lo and behold I could, even with the back seat full of boxes! I am a veritable Jack-of-all-trades. That didn't make any sense.

Anyway, signing off for now, hope to see Texas soon, and when I get there I will report on whether the stars at night are indeed big and bright.

To respond:
-Of course I knew that the M&Ms had been training, that's what they do! Never underestimate the power of the M&M.
-I wasn't making fun of Russian gymnasts, I think they're extremely hot. Talented! I meant Talented!
-Don't make fun of maths, or mats as the Canadians call them.
-You would like Lolita, you pervert. You like 40-year-old men.
-I try to steer clear of New Jersey. Like yesterday, I could have driven through and messed with it some, but I think it's better this way. Though I did mess the hell out of Pennsylvania. I think Ohio has had enough of me for now, I've messed with Ohio quite a bit in my day. As for Indiana, I hate that fucking place. Next time I'm driving through there, look out, it's going to get seriously messed with.